You Make Me Want To Be A Boy
by Haruka Kamiya
Summary: Coping with a romantic affliction for someone is hard enough for anybody, but for Ryuko it is the purest and worst torture. RyuMako.


Title: You Make Me Want To Be A Boy

Author: Haruka Kamiya / nonon_jakuzurezu

Notes: Yeah, uh a little bit of canon divergence here, but who cares?

* * *

Her smile.

It was the loveliest smile Ryuko Matoi had ever seen. Sure, Mako Mankanshoku was a weirdo, but still quite endearing.

Little did Ryuko realize just how endearing.

 _I must protect this smile_.

Ryuko had never had feelings for anyone before. She was alone. There wasn't really any reason to develop affection. She had no idea how to cope with her sudden desire for Mako.

How does a girl go about unpacking the concept of liking someone, especially when it's another girl? Ryuko wondered this often, frantically. She knew that it was still considered "wrong" for her to want another woman.

 _I wish I were a boy… then it would be safe…_

Seeing Mako interact positively with Ira Gamagoori was pure torture. How easily those two had it.

 _Mako doesn't want someone like me. She clearly likes Gamagoori. She's obviously straight._

Ryuko gulped as she processed that last thought. "Well… fuck…" she growled. _Am I gay or what?_

"Something the matter, Ryuko?" Senketsu prompted.

Ryuko glared at him, trying to fight her flushing cheeks. "It… it's nothing." _Do clothes even have morals?! Could I…._

"Your blood pressure is high and your pulse is racing. Something is clearly up."

"Fine," Ryuko huffed. "Senketsu?"

"Yes?" Senketsu replied, his tone soothing.

"If… if you like someone, you should just… deal with it, right?" Ryuko laughed nervously. "I have no fucking clue, Senketsu."

Senketsu's response was curt and matter-of-fact, "I'm clothing. But, I gather that you're in a lot of pain right now, so just 'dealing with it' won't help anything. If you like her, just tell her."

"B-b-but!" Ryuko exclaimed, shocked that Senketsu had guessed the correct pronouns for his owner's object of affection. "We're… She's…. agggghhhh."

"If you enjoy suffering, do nothing, but obviously you don't. So just tell Mako your feelings. I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

"A-are you sure about that, Senketsu?" Ryuko began to sweat. "What if she likes that Gamagoori guy?"

"At least you have closure. Or something."

Ryuko nodded hesitantly, then glanced at where Mako was in the hallway. Mako was watching Ira leave to go to another classroom, waving with exuberance.

 _It still would be a lot easier to swallow if I had been born a boy just for the sake of what-ifs… This is wrong, isn't it?_

"Hey, uh, Mako?"

Mako stopped waving and swiftly turned around, beaming when she saw it was Ryuko. "Ryuko-chan!" the joy in her voice was enough to make anyone melt, but for Ryuko it was heart-pounding and made her legs feel like jelly.

Ryuko stretched to relieve some of the nerves. "So, uh… Mako."

"Yeah?" Mako continued to smile, a glint in her eye.

 _This is fine,_ Ryuko finally decided.

She took Mako's hand to gently pull her closer. "Mako, I'm about to say something very important. I hope you don't get upset…" she could already feel her face burn with embarrassment. "Mako… uh. Mako! I want to go out with you!"

Mako paused, tilting her head quizzically.

"I want to kiss you, hold you… hell, I even want to fuck you!" Ryuko didn't care about the crass phrasing of that last sentence. "And I figure you probably like Gamagoori more than me, if you even like me at all and you probably don't, but anyway! Here I am! I really like you, Mako!"

Mako gazed at Ryuko in wonder. "Ryuko-chan…"

Ryuko braced herself for rejection, but instead was met with a sudden, tight hug from Mako.

"Ryuko-chan!" Mako wailed in happiness. "I want you too! You're the one I like, not Gamagoori-senpai!"

"R-really?!"

Mako embraced Ryuko even more tightly.

Ryuko laughed to shake off all the excess nerves. "Th-then. Well. Well then. Can we go out?"

"YES!"

Ryuko wanted to cry in happiness, but she refrained. She just grinned and tilted Mako's chin upward. "Mako, can I kiss you?"

Mako grinned and pulled Ryuko in for a fierce kiss.

 _Maybe it's okay to be a girl after all!_

 _Because…_

 _This girl likes me too!_

There was no greater happiness for Ryuko at that point.


End file.
